I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
