Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
