You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
