How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
