is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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