I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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