I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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