Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
