I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
