if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
