Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
