Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
