please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
