I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
