honey bunches of taint.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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