do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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