and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
