You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
