You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
