i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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