Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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