We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
