I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
