So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
