Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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