I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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