The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
