i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
