You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
