apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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