If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
