I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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