I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she peed on how many people?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
