you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
