"it" just moved
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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