I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
