totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
