Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
