it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We left an ass print on the piano.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
