This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
