Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
