He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
