I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I want her autograph on my taint
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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