Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
