just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
