Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
