just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My vagina just clenched in fear
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