Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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