You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
