She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
