about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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