At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
