Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
